Flowing in the Sea

Since the beginning of March, I have been unemployed.

I was working in a, what we fondly called, factory for the graphic artist. We call them that because we were an assembly line of graphic artist who does nothing but assemble print ads from standard work books. It drained the creativity out of me for awhile and I thought I wouldn't be able to leave. Until one day, I decided to when brighter opportunities popped in the horizon. The sad part is, I counted my chickens before they hatched and I'm stuck here at home, for four months (and counting), with nothing to do but watch television series and jump from one interview after another.

As most people during this time of their lives, I feel like a fool. A drifter and a vagabond. I don't know where to go and no idea what to do or what I'm good at. Not like when I was still in college and my whole future  is  entirely mapped out. I don't even know if I have a future now. I've been through a lot of interviews already and still no call back from any of them. Some I thought would be cool to work in, some I didn't entirely like, and a selected few, I'd dragged the heaven and earth to get in.

I talk to some friends and they say some people go over a year without finding a job, while some just takes a few weeks before hopping into a new one. Where did I go wrong? During my time in college, i was sure that I'll get the job of my dreams at one point or another since I worked hard and applied myself in everything I did. But now, I feel like that wasn't enough. I need to read more about my beloved field I guess and duke it out for a little while in those creativity draining jobs until I can equip myself with the skills that I really need. That field is really demanding, and I thought I was prepared for it, but I guess I wasn't.

I'll continue to flow in this endless expanse of uncertainty until I find what still for me, either by luck or by shear will.

Ideas, I have tons, execution, I have little.